Advice for Crazy Women

The Adventures of Boy Crazy Tina

The cartoon above illustrates something that I find particularly humorous as a 30-somethings single gal who regularly attends church. The speech bubbles are a little hard to read, so I will fill you in below:

Panel A) 6:30pm - Tina arrives at a new church group, and a person of the male persuasion greets her.
"Hey, my name is Stan, nice to meet you. Are you new here?"  
Tina replies verbally, "Hi! I'm Tina! It's my first visit, yes!"
But in her head she is thinking, "Oh my gosh, he totally likes me!"

Panel B) 8:15pm - Bible study is over and everyone is standing around chatting. Stan the greeter approaches Tina.
"We all go out to dinner after service, you should totally come!"
Tina replies verbally, "Wow, that sounds totally fun! I'd love to go."
But in her head she is thinking, "It must be true! He totally wants me there! He IS kind of cute! Wow, I'm so excited!"

Panel C) 9:30pm - All at dinner now, Stan takes the lead and says a quick prayer before the food arrives. 
"Lord, we thank You for this time together, and for the food we are about to eat. In Jesus' name, Amen."
Tina thinks to herself, ""OMG... How spiritual! I should really get to know him!"

Panel D) 10:45pm - Dinner is over and everyone is going their separate ways. Stan says goodbye to Tina.
"Thanks again for coming! It was great to meet you! See you next week?"
Tina replies verbally, "It was totally fun! Thanks! Yes, I'll be back next week!"
But in her head she is thinking, "[Swoon!] I think I've found 'The One'!"    

While this comic is somewhat absurd and... comical... I think that this sort of thing probably happens more often than we realize! (And I can speak from personal experience on this!) 

But what can we, as women, do to keep our brains from running off with the wind into some fairy tale wonderland not based in the remotest field of reality? If I knew how to fix the fickleness of the female heart I think I would be far richer (and far wiser!). But certainly God's word will give us some practical wisdom!

1.) Think on what is true. Philippians 4:8 tells us, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

What is true is that--

a) A guy being polite and friendly doesn't indicate he is interested in you. At all. Nope- Not even if he smiles at you. Or approaches you particularly to say hello. Just... No.

b) If a guy is interested in you he will ask you out and be intentional in his pursuit; he is not a girl, he will not drop subtle hints or be sly about it. If you think he likes you but isn't asking you out, you're probably wrong!
c) Hoping for the affections of a guy who doesn't even value you enough to overcome the awkwardness of asking you out is a foolish thing to do - Get over it! Move on! SO not worth it! 

d) If it's an "if", then it's not true! Even if it happens later, it is not, technically speaking, true now. 

e) There are no exceptions. You are not the exception. Get your head out of the clouds!

2.) Take every thought captive! 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Making a thought obedient to Christ means--

a) You're not going to dwell on, stew over, meditate on, ponder, analyze, interpret, guess, wonder, fantasize about, daydream about, or otherwise muse on or contemplate things that are not true - See #1.

b) You are going to mediate on those things which are pleasing to the Lord - See #1.

c) You should read your Bible regularly so that your mind is filled with His truth, and keep in prayer and ask for wisdom to be able to rightly divide truth from error. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

3.) LET. IT. GO. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick," Proverbs 13:12a warns. 

If you sit around hoping and pining over some boy (who has not met point 1b or falls under 1c) then you are just making your own heart sick. You cannot focus, you are probably being really lame to your friends, and most importantly you are inhibiting your own usefulness in service to God because you are so distracted. 

Paul rightly said in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (NIV, emphasis mine), 

"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

Our quest and duty as godly single ladies is not to be to hunt down a match (though admittedly we would be happy to find one), but to serve the Lord with the time, resources and freedom He has given us now. I know, you've heard it a thousand times before! I know it probably irks you to hear it again - I know it does me at times. 

But having personally lived out all the craziness I wrote about above, I can safely say that it is by far, FAR superior to be single and NOT falling head over heals for every guy that breathes anywhere near your general presence, able to serve the Lord with singleness of heart and mind.

This is my rant for the evening, ladies! (And to myself, first and foremost!)

If you still need all this drilled into your brain, I recommend watching the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You"... Seriously, go watch it!