Life is interesting. Work takes up the majority of each day, and it saddens me that I only have about 2 1/2 hours of spare time a day (which are usually filled with cooking and cleaning and getting ready for bed). Yet, when I
have free time, I can't figure out what to fill it with. What are people meant to
do in all of life's down times?
The problem is I like people. I don't really have any interest in doing anything much that doesn't involve people. Once and a while I draw a picture, but I haven't had an idea for a picture in a long time. Since I spend all day at work sitting at a computer reading or reading a book, I don't have much desire to read at home. (This is
personal reading at work-- There's lots of down time, so I can study up on basically everything and anything I can think of. I've learned about socks, scarves, pants, different herbs, the economy, all the different people portrayed on currencies around the world, gardening, recipes, currency exchange rates, random people who's names are similar to people I know... Etc. Etc. Etc. I also have lots of time to study my Biblical Greek. So I don't really want to do that at home too.)
I don't do sports like surfing or biking or walking that take up lots of time and can be done alone-- I just don't have any interest in doing that stuff alone, it's just not enjoyable to me. I like playing music, but you can only play so much music so many times... Sit down, play the same set of songs, hope you can come up with something new... Same ol', same ol'. Been there, done that. Is watching TV really the only thing to keep oneself occupied when one has long periods of time to kill...?
I've been fighting the idea of getting a TV so I can numb the boredom and while away the hours in a painless way. I just hate TV. It doesn't profit me anything eternally-- and once you sit down, you watch 2-3 hours of TV before you know it. This looks interesting, then the next show (which they lure you to watch through previews during the former show) looks interesting, and on it goes. Granted there are shows which can give you knowledge or a skill (like cooking), but for the most part it's useless and a waste of time. At best it is spiritually neutral (let's face it, there aren't a plethora of spiritual growth tools on TV), doing nothing but keeping us stagnant in our walk with Christ. I want each moment of my life to be used for growing
closer to Christ-- I don't want to put my spiritual walk on hold while I kill some time entertaining myself.
But what am I to do? Sit on the couch at home and boycott television? That's not exactly growing my relationship with Christ either. I'd like to say I'm spiritual enough to just pray all day and read my Bible on all my down time... But sadly I'm not. What I really want is someone to talk to, to fellowship with, to talk about spiritual things and bounce ideas off of; I want to go out and
do something, to play music somewhere, or something. I hate wasting time. It just seems there's no open door available to me with my finances and my work schedule the way they are.
Tom is focused on getting recording equipment so we can record a CD-- he feels this is the basis of a ministry because we'll have a demo to give to people so we can play somewhere, and have something to give people afterward. But in the meantime, life is wasting away and minutes are burning as wood, hay and stubble in the furnace of heaven. Will my life count? Will so much of it be a loss?
It's overwhelming to think that I have to somehow do something eternally significant with each breath-- I am too tired, don't have enough energy. But I can talk... I can talk about the Lord. I can sing to Him. No matter how tired I am, I can always talk. Now the problem is just finding someone I can talk
to... That wants to talk about the Lord with me, and has the same passion to spend each possible moment of their lives doing something that won't burn away in the end... Does such a person exist?
Today I ventured out to make some gourmet ice cream. I had an idea for a cool flavor a few months back, and finally did it! And wow, is it good. The flavor? Dark Chocolate-Ruby Port ice cream. Yummmmm... Take your traditional chocolate ice cream recipe, omit 80-90% of the sugar and cook down some port, throw it in, and viola (voila?)-- some gourmet ice cream. (It was a little more complex than that, but that's the gist of it!)