It's Christmastime once again, my favourite time of year. This year has been an interesting one for sure! My mind and heart have been consumed with my own personal trials, and then there are/have been the trials of my family, friends and nation. It seems like 2012 has been a rough year for many, if not most.
My heart breaks for the families of those kids in Connecticut... Not only for their unfathomably tragic grief and loss, but that it happened in what is supposed to be such a happy time of year. Christmastime is a special time of year when we have an even greater open door to share the love of Christ with those who don't know His saving grace - And it seems as though evil is laughing and mocking, "HA! See if they will listen to your Christ NOW!" Yet God is bigger than evil, and even on the darkest day in history - when the Son of God was killed - evil's supposed greatest triumph was turned into the very thing that won its defeat. So I have faith - But my heart still breaks for them. I can't imagine...
It's now been almost 1 full year since my former church closed its doors and was dissolved due to lack of finances. I have really enjoyed my new church, though I still miss my old church family. God has abundantly blessed me also with finding a new fellowship of people my own age to socialize and hang out with - And at just the right time! I could not convey what amazingly providential timing it was!
As I look back over the past couple years I am amazed at the work the Lord has done in me and the things He has taught me; I am most amazed at what I have learned this very year. And I am looking forward to next year and all that He will do then. I had felt that life was over, that I was at a dead end, and tried to decide to just give up hope that things would ever change. Not that I gave up faith in God - I just got tired of unmet expectations and desires and thought I would be less disappointed if I just gave up having desires and hopes.
The funny thing is that God can bring you through circumstances and things can look almost exactly the same on the outside, but somehow you've changed on the inside and your outlook on life completely changes. I don't know how that works, but it's pretty awesome!
I know this is all very vague and ambiguous, but it would take me way too long to expound. I haven't shared much of my innermost thoughts and feelings with many people over the past few years, and like Mary in the Bible I feel I've been "keeping these things and pondering them in [my] heart" for the most part. But I thought I would write up my annual year-end debrief and acknowledge how good God has been to me and all He has done! He is so faithful, and I am SO thankful that He proves Himself to me over and over again though I am so fickle and feeble. Thank You Lord! ♥ Amen.