Confliction

Where does one begin in sharing the Gospel, in meeting the needs of others? I feel so small, so insignificant-- like I have nothing to offer. There are so many others who have so much more: more money, more time, more talent, more ideas...

 

Sure, I have talents and gifts. But how do I use them to reach the lost? I am able to play music, able to write music about the Lord. I can teach the Bible. How are those things used for reaching the lost? Are they not for the edification of the church?

 

I have watched films and conferences, seen speakers and heard sermons. It all points to one thing: the church in America is sleeping. We have become so comfortable in the relative prosperity and freedom of our country that we have forgotten what it's like around the rest of the world... We spend our money on things we like, activities we enjoy-- because we can. Others around the world are simply looking for scraps of food to survive on, wearing tattered clothes and stuck in poverty. Yet we can decide what we eat, what we wear, and where we go. Should we feel guilty for what we have?

 

I don't think we should feel guitly-- but to whom much is given, surely much is expected. We haven't been given so much so that we can pamper ourselves, but with what we have comes the responsibility to help those in need. So what can we do? We can sponsor a hungry child, sponsor a missionary. But is this really our heartfelt service to God, our calling in the great commission... Or is it just an easy way to appease our consciences and continue living for ourselves?

 

As all these thoughts pour through my mind, all these questions-- I am left with a deep longing to do more. More for the kingdom of God. More, because I have been given much, and I want to be a faithful steward. But after that desire comes the haunting question: WHAT? WHEN? WHERE? HOW? All I know is why... But I guess that's a start.

 

Should I be impatient, not willing to wait but pressing on with unwaivering furvor? The end is near, surely. Or should I be relaxed, at rest and patient-- Letting things fall into place, trusting that all the timing is the Lord's...?

 

All these thoughts, all these questions... Not content to continue life as usual, but not knowing how to do anything else. *Sigh* Now you see why the title of this post is "confliction"!