The Lord is so awesome ♥
Last night I made it home just in time to catch prayer time at the end of home fellowship - And just laid out all the questions and confusion and (ahem) lies that had been plaguing my mind for days, weeks, months... Who knows how long. And the Lord used that to bring me a renewed sense of joy in His great salvation, and to bring me the peace that I so needed.
It's funny too - Because it's not like there was a lot of discussion going on, or Bible verses discussed, to bring mental clarity on my questions... Rather, we just prayed. There were a couple thoughts shared, but mostly prayer. And I left thinking, "Hmm, well, my questions remain..."
Afterward I sat and played some piano with my landlord's daughter, and then walked back to my house. And by the time I got home, I had a great desire to keep playing... I had played a couple of my songs while over there, and they really ministered to me... Like some epiphany, the lyrics struck me as deeply true... "Have I never heard these lyrics before?" I thought; "Did I not write them? Why do they seem so foreign?"
I had so divorced myself from the heart that wrote... That I did not even recognize it when I heard it. But suddenly it was all flooding back in... And songs burst from my heart like a cry from a newborn baby.
That's not to say I had the most amazing songwriting session ever (though I did compose the framework for my first song since May - and I am liking it! It's very different!) - But rather, what grand thing that ensued was the freedom to express thanks and praise and to let gratitude to my King freely pour forth... And that just filled my heart with a peace and joy which I hadn't felt in some time.
Over the hurdle - But not done with the race! But my God is here with me - And I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I am eternally thankful for His love, and for His mercies which are new every morning.
Amen ♥
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