The Meaning of Life

Life is so confusing sometimes. What am I here for, what am I made to do, how am I supposed to spend my time, etc. etc. Being a born-again Christian, many of life's questions are answered-- I was made by God for His pleasure (Revelation 4:11). The Bible tells me how I am to please God-- by faith (for without faith it is impossible to please God). I know that I am to go into all the world and make disciples, and that I have a unique place in the body of Christ that no one else can fill.
But some questions remain-- I am part of the body, but what part am I? Am I a foot? A hand? An intestine? How am I practically to go into all the world and make disciples-- by street evangelism? Music? Teaching? Become a missionary? I know what talents I have been so graciously given, and some of the spiritual gifts I have-- but I fear I have yet to find my purpose, my place in life.

And then there's the world. Having never been outside of the U.S. and its culture, and rarely ever even outside of the southern California culture, I have a very limited understanding of how "normal" life is. I have heard we are some of the richest people on earth when you compare the U.S. to other nations, and that the culture I live in and am accustomed to is a very materialistic, self-obsessed culture.
Doing foreign currency exchange for a living though, I see hundreds of people richer than me from all over the world! I tend to think that this majority population of poor people are the oppressed and neglected people of densely populated places like India (i.e. the Dalits), China, and various African nations-- Places where there are large concentrations of people living in substandard living conditions.
And surely people living in such horrible conditions are focused primarily on their survival-- having enough food, or finding shelter and clothing or getting medical attention-- rather than getting nicer looking towels for their kitchen, or a rug that matches their couch. They are not focused on getting the latest cell phone technology or the best and fastest computer. They would be content to have any rug for their dirt floor, or any towel-- or even clean water to wash with.
Now, the question. Surely these people are living in wretched conditions. Surely these are not optimal conditions to live under-- so we aren't to adopt such conditions ourselves. But just how much material comfort and convenience is acceptable and necessary to obtain before it is considered selfish and wasteful? This is, in my opinion, a very hard question to answer! Surrounded by materialism and self-adoring people, it is hard to keep a clear view. I struggle between being legalistically focused on not over-indulging and getting caught up in the "everyone's doing it" mentality and getting distracted by building my earthly kingdom.

The question of how to spend my time is a sea-saw of the same sort. Do I make every attempt to abstain from worldly pleasures of television-watching, movie-going, and other leisure activities-- in favor of devoting every waking moment to spiritual development and the furtherance of the gospel? Oh that TV and movies existed in Bible days-- then surely Paul would have written on it! But the Bible makes little-to-no mention of leisure activity. Does this mean that entertaining ourselves is an unspiritual, bankrupt activity that will burn as wood, hay, and stubble? Or is it just that its focus is on the spiritual, and so it ends up being silent on the ordinary and mundane tasks of life?
All you see the disciples doing is eating, breathing, and sleeping the gospel. It's all Jesus, the gospel, God, scripture, prayer, fellowship, church life. There is eating. Eating is good. But just as you see many, many miracles in Acts, and you can get the idea that the Christian life should be chalked full of miracles (when in reality, the book of Acts spans many years and miracles are actually quite uncommon when you spread it out over the time-line), perhaps the abundance of spiritually-focused activities in the New Testament are a condensed version of life with a particular focus.
If you were to read an instruction manual for a toaster oven, and the full-sized oven is not mentioned, you would not come to the conclusion that you should no longer use the full-sized oven. No, rather, the focus of the toaster oven manual is to teach you how to use the toaster oven. So too, the focus of the Bible is God and our relationship with Him, which is spiritual (we worship Him in spirit and in truth). The message of the few passages that mention our physical life is that we aren't to focus on it-- not that it's bad, but it's not to be our life's objective (i.e., women aren't to focus on the outer appearance, but the inner beauty of an incorruptible spirit, etc.).

The end of the matter? God has a plan, and though we may not know what it is, He will accomplish it. He has prepared good works beforehand that we should walk in them. It doesn't say that we have to know what the good work is before we walk into it-- just that He's prepared it and that we'll walk into it. We don't have to try and strive. We don't have to know. We walk by faith and not by sight.
But how will I know if I've accomplished His purpose? That's part of faith, I suppose. Though I really wish I could know I am fulfilling the purpose for which He's created me! Lord, give me faith...! Amen!

'Tis the Season...?

'Tis the season...
What does the season mean to you?

To some, it's a warm, fuzzy, memory-filled season where we stop and think about our family and friends and count our blessings.

To others, it's a dreadful time filled with hours of long lines, bargain-hunting, miles of wishlists, and scary credit card statements.

Yet, still to others, it is a time to remember that God Himself came in the form of human flesh to our sin-ravaged earth-- experiencing what we experience, feeling what we feel, doing what we do. It is a time to celebrate the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ-- who in 33 short years, would hang on a Roman cross, suffering death to pay for all of my sin, all of yours.

What better Christmas present can there be than God incarnate, come to save us from eternal damnation and separation from God?

It is true that the holiday of Christmas is not specifically mentioned in the Bible, and to my knowledge is also true that it originated as a pagan holiday in ancient Rome-- the celebration of the winter solstice, the worship of the Babylonian relgious figures. But that does not negate in any way the benefit and blessing of celebrating the birth of our Savior and remembering and being thankful for what He has done.

I think knowing the background of the holiday helps us not to be so uptight about it being so commercialized, so focused on the secular icons of Santa Claus and his reindeer-- It started out pagan, and is pagan once more.

But as Christians, let us not get caught up in the pagan practices of our godless society and forget why we even celebrate this holiday. It's easy to get caught up in gift giving and gift getting, in how we wrap our presents and decorate our houses-- but may we not forget the "reason for the season" (if only to us), Jesus Christ. And may we use it as the awesome witnessing tool it is to share with the lost God's love, and invite them to know the Savior as well!

Merry Christmas!

God bless.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hello all!

Hope you have a happy, blessed Thanksgiving day!

It makes me wonder-- people who do not know the Lord, yet "give thanks"-- who are they thankful to? Just goes to show it's built into our very nature that there is a God to whom we owe thanks.

We have much to be thankful for-- whenever I am tempted to complain about how I don't like the carpet, or would like a bed frame, want to make more money, or want this thing or that thing-- I stop and consider what I've heard many times before: we here in the U.S. are far richer than most other people around the world.

I have a bed. I have carpet. Some people sleep on dirt floors. I have food to eat-- and can choose what I want to eat; I can eat as many times a day as I want-- some people eat once a day, and eat the same thing: a small ball of rice. I have a job. So many others can't find work. Most of us don't even know what it really means to be hungry or thirsty in the truest sense.

Not that having any of these things is bad, or that we should feel guilty (for all good gifts and perfect gifts come from God, and He gives us all things richly to enjoy), but these are good things to keep in mind when we are tempted to complain and desire greater material blessing, and also good to consider when we receive greater material blessings-- will we spend them on ourselves, or consider the needs of others? Sometimes even when we think we have nothing, and can give nothing, it's good to remember and count our blessings, and we find that we actually do have enough to share with others.

May we be truly thankful for all God has given us, and bless His holy name, not only on Thanksgiving, but now and always! :)

Truly He is good.

Getting Back to Normal

Life is getting back to normal here. For many, the fires are already a memory-- for many more, it's an all too present reality as they face the rebuilding of their homes, the mountains of insurance paperwork, and continue to live abroad in shelters and friends' and relatives' homes.

But I am thoroughly impressed by how organized the evacuations were, how calm everything seemed among what could cause mass chaos-- And those fire fighters are amazing. At one home, the firemen pulled belongings out of the garage of a burning home-- picture albums, and other things they felt probably couldn't be replaced. I read a story of one little girl who wrote a colorful thank-you note to fire fighters-- they couldn't keep the top of her family's house from burning, but they saved her toys and her pet goldfish from being burned by the fire. She was very appreciative.

These guys have definitely gone above and beyond, risking their lives to save the homes of many and protect the lives of many. I am definitely impressed. They worked non-stop for hours, 36+ without rest. Amazing guys.

A World Ablaze

So, all of San Diego is ablaze. Most of SoCal is on fire, actually. But San Diego seems to be the most devistated.

Please pray for the fire victims, for the fires to be put out, for onshore winds, for rain, for humidity, for the fire fighters.

Crazy...

Slow Day at Work?

Ever wonder what to do when you're having a slow day at work? No games on your computer to keep you entertained? Never fear - "paint" is here!

It's amazing what you can do with hours of down-time and Microsoft Paint.

Work actually has been relatively busy, business has been good. There was just this one day between all those good days when it was beyond slow. Never let a slow day at work get you down. Express your creativity through "paint"!*

*This statement has not been proven by the FDA.

Changes, Changes

Life is a changin' 'round the bend! Things at work are like a game of musical chairs-- and I've been transferred to my dream branch! I've wanted to work out in Carlsbad for, well, since I've been hired. But now it's finally available! Yay! No more 23 mile drives to work (1 way), no more getting off at 7:30 at night... I don't have to worry about when to get my shopping done, because all the stores I shop at are within 5 minutes of my work, and I am within minutes of my church and social sphere.

I was sad, however, to leave Escondido. There's something about working somewhere for over a year that makes it grow on you, even if you don't like every aspect of it. I will miss my old branch. But new things await me beyond the horizon. God is good, and He has blessed me greatly in this.

And the band is doing well too. We are co-starting a "faith-based" night at a local coffee shop in Encinitas with another pastor. I say "faith-based" in quotes because the coffee shop owner calls it that, though he asked 2 Christians to start it. So pretty much it will be a Christian night. You know how Christians love coffee shops! I don't know if that's a real stereotype, but I know I love coffee shops, and it seems to me that it's true. We are also regularly leading worship as guest-artists at another local church, besides being participants in our own church's worship team. I am glad to be used by the Lord!

We met with a recording guy (I'm sure they have some sort of more official-sounding title for people who record, but I don't know what his is) the other day. We got to watch a mastering/mixing session, play some of our songs, get advice-- and I even got to lay down a brief harmony track for one of the songs in the rock opera they were mixing! Cool. We may even get a chance to record a little with him in the future.

And, in addition to this fellow, we've met a couple guys who produce transe music and do shows. They totally dig our music, and we had a great time sharing with them and getting to bounce around some ideas. It seems God is really opening up some doors for us to get a good start. May we not lean to our own understanding though, and then get discouraged when our plans are not being realized-- but remember God's timing is perfect, and just "trust in the Lord with all our hearts", knowing He is directing our paths.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will direct your paths.
~Proverbs 3:5-6~

There's Always Room for Cello!

The Lord has blessed me much this day, though I do not in any way deserve it! (And I feel I know much better now how much I do not deserve His blessings than I have in the past...) He has blessed me with a cello!

James 1:16-17 says "Do not be deceived my beloved brethren. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." I used to think that verse said "Every good and perfect gift..." But no, it says "Every good gift and every perfect gift..." So the good things, like cellos, nice homes, good food-- as well as the perfect things such as eternal life in heaven, Jesus' sacrifice for our sins... These are all from Him. So we can enjoy the littler things as well as the most important thing, His love for us displayed ultimately when Jesus died on the cross to purchase our forgivenness!

So I found this cello on Craig's List for a very decent price (decent equalling affordability on my part), and it came with a stand and a gig bag as well-- so when I learn how to play it well enough to do in public (right now it sounds akin to caterwauling), I can carry it with me with great ease. I played cello in beginning band for one semester in high school, and took it home over the summer that year, but I think it takes a lot of practice to make it sound pretty. But I can play it relatively in tune... That's a good start. I enjoy plucking the strings and pretending it's a stand-up bass. That's fun. :)

The pictures are actual cello I bought-- I copied them off the ad (sneaky way to get pics! I don't have a good digital camera, so it was the only way to get nice pics of it).

Well, just wanted to share. Hope you are enjoying as well the blessings of a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ-- Praise God for His wonderful works to the children of men, as the Psalmist says! --D

Wow, How Time Flies!

My oh my... I can't believe it's September already! Pretty soon it will be autumn. In SoCal, that means it will be 80 instead of 90-100, and a small percentage of trees may drop a couple leaves. My plants will no longer be frying out in the hot summer sun, and it will once again drop below 70 at night. :) I love autumn!

Autumn is actually my favorite season. I love winter too. Thanksgiving, Christmas... The cool weather, the layers of clothing. Scarves. Cool breezes, the warmth of hot coffee or tea, hot food, a snuggly blanket and the warm air blowing through the heating vents (this winter I will actually have a functional heater).

I have been SUPER blessed this summer-- it's my first summer ever where I've had air conditioning in my home. It is so absolutely wonderful. I hate hot. I can't sleep, I am sticky, it's muggy... The sun saps your energy and you're stuck being a blob of sweaty uselessness. Blech. But it all goes away with air conditioning... I can sleep through the night, eat my dinner in peace, even eat hot food and enjoy it. And it probably keeps me from gaining weight from overindulging in ice cream! Surely God is good.

But God is good for so many other, better, more important reasons. Dying for our sins, promising us forgiveness and heaven when we put our trust in Him, giving us His Spirit to direct us and mold us into His image. He is wonderful. 2 Peter 1 is good:

"Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust."

Life has been busy lately, as it has been for the last couple months. This past Sunday we (the band) were guest worship leaders for Coastlands Calvary Chapel. They are a rad bunch of people, and I enjoyed the fellowship.

Work was ridiculously busy Saturday. The mall was packed out this weekend due to the disturbingly hot weather (105 at least). But today,though the mall was busy, my store was very, very slow-- which afforded me much opportunity to study for my real estate license. I just enrolled in a course to prepare to get my real estate sales license a few weeks ago. I'm not terrifically interested in real estate, but it seems possible enough and hey, it's not like I'm getting anywhere in retail, so I figured, might as well go for it! If I could sell 4 $500,000 houses a year at 1% commission, I would make about the same amount of money I make now. So at worst, I will have something to supplement my retail "career". :)

I must be off though, my pillow calls. So does the fridge. Hmm... food, or sleep? Can't really do both at the same time... (Might be messy...) God bless! --D

Update

Well, things are certainly busy over here! It's been a little while since my last entry... :)

Band Update:

We are blessed to have the support of our church body! They are fully behind us, wanting to help us fulfill the calling the Lord has given us. Our pastor got us a gig on the 12th leading worship for Ralph Wood's church in Oceanside.

We also now have quite a bit of good quality recording equipment now, and after a trip to Guitar Center on Sunday, now the computer actually recognizes the equipment and we can record! Granted we have very little idea what all the knobs do... But we'll figure it out. Tom's taking a couple classes on recording this semester, so he should be a whiz pretty soon! It's going to be exciting to start recording. We have a guitar track for 1 song so far.

Well, we went up to the Harvest Crusade last Friday, and it was pretty cool. Phil Wickham and David Crowder were playing, along with the Harvest Praise Band of course. Hundreds of people responded to the message too. It was rad.

As far as seating... We were supposed to meet up with a friend who was ushering who had saved us some seats on the ground level by 3rd base (Angel Stadium in Anaheim is where it was held), but when we finally got to the stadium (traffic, had to get food, etc.), the line to get in was I'm pretty sure wrapped around the whole stadium. By the time we got in our seats had to be given up.

Tom wasn't about to give up on getting good seats though. The ushers were very insistant that there was no ground level seating, but Tom told one usher he thought he saw some seats. The usher responded, "If you think so, you can try...!" So we walked and walked and got to these seats Tom saw. He says something to the usher lady, and then we proceed to take our seats in an almost completely open section, ground level 1st base. I turn to Tom, "What did you say to that lady?" "She asked how many, and I said 3." "You do know this is the deaf section, right?" "It is?? Oops!" ... Hahaha. Tom didn't know we were in the deaf section. But it's okay, they started opening it up to everyone a few minutes later. Tom decided our friend Jesse looked the most deaf out of all of us, which Jesse thought was pretty funny. He responded, "what?" Haha.

Afterward we went up to the Block in Orange, right up the freeway but with my directions around the block and back and forth up and down and then right up the freeway. I've been there a million times, but never from Angel Stadium! Oops.
We'd met up with our friend who'd originally saved us the seats and a bunch of his friends, and we all hung out at Starbucks there. A bunch of people from Harvest Riverside were walking the Block handing out Harvest Crusade flyers, and we met up with them and started talking. It was great to meet them. We met the worship leader for Day Seven at Harvest too, and I got to meet a couple rad girls who prayed for me. It was a blessing. :)

So we were there fellowshipping (if it's at a coffee shop I guess you could say "fellow-sipping"... Hahaha) until 1am (I had decided around 11:30 I was going to stop checking the time; I had work the next morning and there was a 1 1/2 hour drive home awaiting me. I just enjoyed the fellowship that I have been craving for so long.

Finally we headed off, having to drop Jesse back off at Camp Pendelton and me to drive home from Tom's house after we got there. The 1 1/2 hour drive has begun... And lasted... and lasted... and lasted... They blocked off the 4 left lanes of the 5 at La Paz, which slowed traffic to about 25 mph. But then it picked back up after the lanes opened back up. *Phew* Back on the road... Until... They closed the entire freeway one mile before the PCH exit in Dana Point! They were diverting all traffic onto PCH.

Man, lemme tell you. The Lord gave me some mighty grace that night, because I wasn't the least bit bothered by it all. That's gotta be a miracle of sea-splitting proportions! Praise God! But that traffic... There was a half mile of big rigs backed up in the right lane, and at least a quarter mile of cars in the other 4 lanes backing up to get off onto the 1/2 mile 1 lane exit to PCH. After some tea and coffee Tom made good use of the trees off the side of the exit... :P We finally got onto PCH quite a while later, set to creep along the 1 lane hwy until a mile or so before the San Diego County border line.

I finally got home at 4am, after a 3 hour ride. It was nice. Jesse got some good Z's in the back seat, sawing some logs. Tom and I listened to Danny Donnelly's new Worship 3 CD about 6 dozen times. It was the perfect stuck-in-traffic-at-3am CD. And I remembered a wonderful thing before taking off from Tom's house to mine-- I have sick time! I never call in sick. So, I made good use of it. 3 hours of sleep is no bueno so I called in sick and slept until 12:30. Yes! A day of rest. Put that sick day to some good use.

(If you're a guy, you might want to skip this part, lest you be bored to death...)
It is good. OH! And yesterday... Okay, this might sound really pathetic to some people, but it was a major drama for me. I can't stand what clothes they have at the mall where I work. It's all retro '70s and '80s stuff. Bag dresses and things that look like your cat sewed them together, polka dots and other non-endearing patterns. I have been on a seemingly impossible quest to find some light shirts for summer-- to wear over a tank top or really short sleeved shirt when it's a little too cool. Plus I just like to be a little more covered.

I had this shirt that was a thin material, but I put my elbow through it after 2 years, and it was ripping in other places. The women at church were threatening to take it from me and throw it away. I also had a red hoodie that I wore when it was cooler that was completely falling apart after 2-3 years of constant usage. They had similar threats about this article of clothing. But I couldn't find anything to replace them, and it was them or winter sweaters and sweating to death.

So yesterday after looking at 3-4 stores in the mall, I was entirely frustrated (it's AUGUST now I've been looking all summer!) and in the car on the way home prayed LORD please help me! And then I got an idea to go to Kohl's, and so I did, and the second I walked in, to my left, were hoodie sweaters like the one that was beyond repair that I had, and so I tried it on and perfect! I had been 100% unable to find anything remotely similar to that in months. And I briskly walked through the rest of the section keeping an eye out for anything of interest. I found a rack of button up shirts that looked interesting. I put the one in front on (didn't even check the size, still not sure what size it is, but it fits) and checked in a mirror to see how it looked. Perfect!

So now I have two hooded sweaters (so I don't have to go through this again for a while) and a new button up shirt to wear over my tank tops and short sleeved shirts! Yay! I wore a t-shirt with a scarf at church Sunday, looking very ridiculous for August (though no one said anything, how loving of them!) because it was too warm for my jacket and too cold for nothing. So now all that drama is over. Praise God. And I got a coffee table for free the other day too from the side of the road by my house-- I'd been using a carboard box with an old table top! Yay! A real table! He's so good to me. May I never forget it!

Well, enough enough. Peace out till next time!

Ice Cream Extraordinaire

Today I ventured out to make some gourmet ice cream. I had an idea for a cool flavor a few months back, and finally did it! And wow, is it good. The flavor? Dark Chocolate-Ruby Port ice cream. Yummmmm... Take your traditional chocolate ice cream recipe, omit 80-90% of the sugar and cook down some port, throw it in, and viola (voila?)-- some gourmet ice cream. (It was a little more complex than that, but that's the gist of it!)

It makes me wonder though... I didn't put my freezer bowl (for my ice cream maker) in the freezer long enough, so after 30 minutes of churning it was just as liquidy as it was before (and no colder really). So I just poured it in a container and stuck it in the freezer. What I'm wondering, is if putting it in the freezer seems to be the same, what point is there in having an ice cream maker? Speed I guess. It freezes "instantly" instead of over hours... and hours... I'm starting to give up hope that it will freeze completely before I go to bed (I want to eat it, it tastes good!). So, I shall have to eat it tomorrow. Oh well. Something to look forward to after dinner!

Well, for now, cheerio! (I know that's the cereal spelling, I don't know the other spelling.)
-D

What To Do...?

Life is interesting. Work takes up the majority of each day, and it saddens me that I only have about 2 1/2 hours of spare time a day (which are usually filled with cooking and cleaning and getting ready for bed). Yet, when I have free time, I can't figure out what to fill it with. What are people meant to do in all of life's down times?

The problem is I like people. I don't really have any interest in doing anything much that doesn't involve people. Once and a while I draw a picture, but I haven't had an idea for a picture in a long time. Since I spend all day at work sitting at a computer reading or reading a book, I don't have much desire to read at home. (This is personal reading at work-- There's lots of down time, so I can study up on basically everything and anything I can think of. I've learned about socks, scarves, pants, different herbs, the economy, all the different people portrayed on currencies around the world, gardening, recipes, currency exchange rates, random people who's names are similar to people I know... Etc. Etc. Etc. I also have lots of time to study my Biblical Greek. So I don't really want to do that at home too.)

I don't do sports like surfing or biking or walking that take up lots of time and can be done alone-- I just don't have any interest in doing that stuff alone, it's just not enjoyable to me. I like playing music, but you can only play so much music so many times... Sit down, play the same set of songs, hope you can come up with something new... Same ol', same ol'. Been there, done that. Is watching TV really the only thing to keep oneself occupied when one has long periods of time to kill...?
I've been fighting the idea of getting a TV so I can numb the boredom and while away the hours in a painless way. I just hate TV. It doesn't profit me anything eternally-- and once you sit down, you watch 2-3 hours of TV before you know it. This looks interesting, then the next show (which they lure you to watch through previews during the former show) looks interesting, and on it goes. Granted there are shows which can give you knowledge or a skill (like cooking), but for the most part it's useless and a waste of time. At best it is spiritually neutral (let's face it, there aren't a plethora of spiritual growth tools on TV), doing nothing but keeping us stagnant in our walk with Christ. I want each moment of my life to be used for growing closer to Christ-- I don't want to put my spiritual walk on hold while I kill some time entertaining myself.

But what am I to do? Sit on the couch at home and boycott television? That's not exactly growing my relationship with Christ either. I'd like to say I'm spiritual enough to just pray all day and read my Bible on all my down time... But sadly I'm not. What I really want is someone to talk to, to fellowship with, to talk about spiritual things and bounce ideas off of; I want to go out and do something, to play music somewhere, or something. I hate wasting time. It just seems there's no open door available to me with my finances and my work schedule the way they are.

Tom is focused on getting recording equipment so we can record a CD-- he feels this is the basis of a ministry because we'll have a demo to give to people so we can play somewhere, and have something to give people afterward. But in the meantime, life is wasting away and minutes are burning as wood, hay and stubble in the furnace of heaven. Will my life count? Will so much of it be a loss?

It's overwhelming to think that I have to somehow do something eternally significant with each breath-- I am too tired, don't have enough energy. But I can talk... I can talk about the Lord. I can sing to Him. No matter how tired I am, I can always talk. Now the problem is just finding someone I can talk to... That wants to talk about the Lord with me, and has the same passion to spend each possible moment of their lives doing something that won't burn away in the end... Does such a person exist?

Life is Good

Well, it's been almost a month since my last entry. I still just feel like I have to have something monumental to write, but for all those out there who just want to know how ordinary life is going, I guess I will write a little update.

This last weekend I visited Costa Mesa to attend Brian Broderson's service at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa's "Big Tent Revival" (so they call it because they are in a tent while the sanctuary is being remodelled). Danny Donnelly was playing, and I wanted to see him. The Lord blessed me.

I was sitting there as Danny was talking about how he didn't have a set planned out and didn't know what he was playing (that he was just playing whatever he felt like), and as he spoke he picked a capo off the head of his guitar and put it on a fret. While he did this a thought shot through my head like a little shooting star: "Lord, I pray that Danny would play All Steps Are Ordered." Just then he took the capo off and said, "You know, I feel like the Lord would have me play this song for someone here tonight." My first thought was "I wonder who it is?", assuming it wasn't myself. Then it occurred to me, "Oh yeah, it could be me..." I was stoked at the thought that it could be me. I always assume it's someone else and start looking around and wondering who it is.

So, he went on to describe the song. He'd written it just before a church service, it always encouraged him on those days when he was having a rough battle with spiritual warfare. I thought to myself, "This doesn't apply to me, I'm not going through anything like this right now." He spoke a lot of spiritual battle type stuff. Then he said, "The name of the song is All Steps Are Ordered," and went on to play it.

"What? How did that description describe that song?" I wasn't sure, but it sure made it a surprise! I was so excited that the Lord had blessed me like that and had him play that song. Afterward I told him about the whole thing, and he was blessed I think, and said "Ah, so it was you...!" Tom and I actually recorded that song onto my answering machine (we sang an a capella duet).

ALSO, another blessing that night: I had mentioned at worship practice a couple nights before that I wanted Danny to play "Beautiful Savior", a really nice worship song that I was pretty sure he wrote (and later that was confirmed, which explains why almost no one knows it). I had totally forgotten about that desire when after service, lo and behold, they played it. I was doubly blessed. God is so good, to give me such little desires of my heart! (Now if I could only have enough faith that He would give me the bigger ones too!)

Aside from that, I have been blessed (and challenged at the same time) to get to sing on the worship team every Sunday this month so far-- I was only scheduled once, but I've been filling in for different absentees. It's fun, but challenging (in my own sad way) in that I have to wake up a whole hour earlier to get there for practice Sunday morning (I know, poor me, huh?) and because (I think due to allergies) my throat has been really sensitive lately and gets sore and worn out really fast when I sing or even talk a lot. This also happened 3 years ago, only far worse-- I actually had a horrible sore throat constantly and practically lost my voice! After far too long of that I went to the doctor who looked at my throat for 2 seconds and said, "Allergies. Take Claritin." And here I thought I had tonsilitis or some horrible throat problem! Allergies... Post nasal drip, to be exact... Lovely, I know. But God has kept me singin' these past 3 weeks, and I trust He will do the same this Sunday! He's good. "Where God guides, God provides," Chuch Smith always says.

Well, it's time for some chores and sleep.

Blessings! Peace out. :)

Recent Happenings

Hello!
Life has been busy but great lately. It's had its ups and downs, but God is good, and always worthy to be praised!

Recently, maybe a month or so ago, my band was given an opportunity to do some recording by the sound guy at our church. He offered to record us! How awesome is that? It's not professional grade, as we are not using a studio and are recording everything on one track, but it is good and he's good at mixing us and definitely patient! It's the best opportunity for recording we've had yet.
And man, recording can be difficult. Some songs come out in one or two takes, and others like, 20 or more, and then you listen to it later and decide to start all over. That's one of the hard things about live recordings-- you can't really doctor anything! You just have to play it right. Period. It's pretty hard to not go out of tune at all during a song, ornot to play a wrong note or wrong chord. That's why I said our sound guy is patient...

Other than that, life isn't full of too many "big" things. But I think it's the little things I appreciate the most. They came out with a new smell at Bath & Body Works-- Wild Honeysuckle (or something to do with honeysuckle). It smells like you're walking by a honeysuckle bush in bloom! It smells sooooo good! But you know, I didn't want to pay $11 for a container of lotion, though I really wanted to get some. And today when I was going there to get more antibacterial hand lotion (the gel kills my skin... This winter the whole pad of my right thumb peeled off, and I had to get steroid ointment to heal it... No alcohol sanitizers for me anymore!!)... I use it because I touch money all day at work and can't wash my hands very often (yuk). But getting to the point, I was so hoping they had this new smell in that lotion, and I looked and looked... And then I found it!! Yay! Those are only $4, and I needed one anyway. The Lord hooked me up! Yay!
Another blessing, I needed some groceries before I get paid at the end of this week, and didn't have the money... And low and behold, my state tax return got deposited into my account last Friday. Now I have enough food until payday!
God has also been good to me in so many other small ways. He's played one of my favorite songs on the radio just at the right time, helped me do really really well at work, arranged for me to work at this other location of my company that I've really wanted to work at the whole time I've been employed there (but there's a barrier to that...). I'm so excited to get to fill in there, even if it is for 1 day. I love those little things that the Lord does for me. :)

I've also learned how to make some really great smoothies at home. Orange juice, vanilla yogurt, some fresh banana, and frozen fruit (my favorite is dark cherries & mixed berries, but tropical mix is good too), and my favorite ingredient, heeping mounds of unflavored soy protein powder! It gives it that wonderful chalky protein powder texture! I'm weird, but I like it. If desired, leave that out... It will be your loss. :)
I've been really lazy about cooking for myself. It's protein bars in the car for breakfast (hey, at least I eat breakfast), usually a frozen lunch (but no preservatives or extra sodium, yuk) or if I am feeling up to it, a sandwich! Sometimes I get really fancy and buy a pre-made salad or sautee some meat to go in my frozen lasagnas. Trader Joe's is wonderful, what can I say? They make life so much easier. It's the only way I've found to eat healthy, fast, and affordable all at the same time. But I make smoothies... And... Sandwiches. Those are my specialty. I love sandwiches. Sautee some tenderized, sliced up skirt steak with some seasonings and fire-roasted bell peppers (sold in a jar at Trader Joe's, of course), and throw it on some toasted sourdough with some melted cheese on top... Voila, Philly Cheese Steak in like 10 minutes, for like half the price of a restaurant. You have to do it in the oven though. Put the cheese on the meat on the bread w/ mayo and throw it all in the oven... Yummmm...

Well, I'm going to go eat something!
God bless!
Peace out. :)

On the Homefront

It's been a month since I've moved into my new place, and it's finally starting to take shape-- I was excited to find my note pad the other day, the one I use to make lists of things I need to do. I had forgotten about it, and when I was meandering about the house wondering where I could write some things I need to do, thinking how nice it would be to be able to write down things I need to do, all the sudden I remembered-- my notepad! I dug it out, and started listing. And, the Lord even opened my eyes to see a great place to keep my "pile"-- that place, you know, where you dump all your receipts, mail, papers, etc. That's where I keep my list. My home is finally taking some assemblance of routine and regularity! Yay!

The picture above is when I first moved in-- before the painters and the tilers, before the furniture came up (the piano was moved at the first because I had it professionally moved, due to lots of stairs and such) ... Now... Looks a lot different, huh? The walls are white, there's a lovely down-filled sofa, I have some pictures hung up (I have a refrigerator!), and things are starting to have a routine place.

I'm stoked. I like my new place. I enjoy coming home and not having anything or anyone to clean up after. Well, I do have to change my fish's water once a week... But that's okay. And I love being able to walk down the stairs and across the yard and visit my friends in the main house. It's like living alone, but not alone. It's the perfect thing for me right now. (I can say that because it is perfect for me right now-- that's why God did it!)

Life has been great too: God has opened up doors for Tom and I to record a CD at church! It's not professional quality, but the best recording (and easiest) since we've played together. And it's basically free (minus gas to drive there and CDs to burn on). It's great. We've also been able to get involved in the worship team at church. I love the people at my church, how they love the Lord and love the church body and act out that love.

As far as storms that have rained down on me (trials), being really tired from lack of resolution and routine, being unable to get things done and settled-- this has been the trial of the season. He has gotten me through it well (I hardly complained at all... hehehe) and given me strength to get through it. And now, next week... VACATION!!! Yay! Praise God for vacation time! Sleeeeep... Sweet rest... :) Amen.

More to Come...

Hello everyone!
As you know, I have just moved... And I am still very tired! It's great though. Just want to say I am still alive!
I moved in on Jan. 31, and the family who was temporarily residing in my new residence didn't move out until Feb. 1 (it's an escrow thing), so I was "squatting" downstairs in the main house for a few days while they moved their stuff out.
There was a lot of touch-up work to do in my new place, though (it should be finished this week... I think! At least the main parts will be done!). It was an office a while back, and so they had to knock out a couple walls to unite the living room with the dining room, and thus there were holes in the carpeting, so they ripped out the carpeting and put down some wood flooring (this part was done before I moved up here).
But because of the walls being torn down, the paint was messed up (also as they added a bathtub to the bathroom the paint was messed up in there too), and due to general usage, it really needed a paint job. This part was not finished before I moved it (as the other family was staying here, there was no time to paint before I moved in). So this last week and 1 day have been filled with painting. They finished all but the bathroom 3-4 days ago, but the bathroom still has one last coat of paint to go (Monday). The tile guys just finished grouting and puting down the last of the tile (kitchen floor, entry way, and bathroom wall/in front of tub). Tile is done! Yay!
I just got my dining room table! Yay! It's been in the garage. I ate at it. It was good. And yesterday they brought up my loveseat to put in the spare room, and they are letting me use this table/chest thing. So my spare room has a couch and coffee table (upon which my computer is now sitting).
But anyway... this is supposed to be a short blog, so I will write more later. I must sleeeep! I have to get up early for church tomorrow. Pictures to come.
God bless!

Peace in the Unknown

It's been a peaceful, though topsy-turvey, moving experience so far. It's amazing how God's peace can flood our hearts so that things that would normally drive us crazy, cause us to fret, or make us anxious and worrisome don't really even scratch the surface-- it's as if you can see them coming at you from inside a glass bubble, but they can't actually get to you.

My "natural" inclination and character is to plan, organize, get stuff done a bit at a time so as to not have a huge workload at any given moment, do things ahead of time, make efficient, etc. I say "natural" because I am pretty convinced in my own mind that though these characteristics are ingrained deep within me and seem like they may have been there forever as a part of my natural character, that indeed they are the workings of God and are result of some spiritual gifting.
If you would have known me as a child or even a teen, I was a huge slob, a major procrastinator, a pack-rat, and a bit on the lazy side. It might be maturity that has changed me, or having to move lots... I know living in my car made me quite a bit more organized (it's a bit of a necessity with such limited space!). The Lord has blessed me with the gift of administration, though, so I do believe a lot of it is spiritual. Either way, this moving situation has not at all fit into anything resembling preplanned and organized! At least not by me... (God's got it all planned!)

I hadn't packed a single thing until a couple days ago-- all the pictures still hung on the wall, all the dishes in the cabinets, the books on the shelves. I did call the phone company and make an appointment to move my piano, but that's about it. I've tried, but there is nothing I can do.

There is another couple at my church who was buying a home, and the escrow fell through and they ended up needing a place to stay-- and since I wouldn't be moving for another month, they've been staying in my (soon to be) new place. So I haven't been able to move anything ahead of time because of that. And, their new escrow is going through this Thursday, and I am moving Wednesday! So there will be some overlapping here. All my furniture, and myself, needs to be moved out by the end of the 31st-- and they can't even start moving till the 1st.

Another part of the trial, that by God's grace I am handling very well-- it's hardly affecting me-- is that I took Tuesday and Wednesday off to move (as those are the last 2 days of the month), and since I am not able to move my stuff until the last minute, that leaves a weekday for finding help to move (and I have 2 flights of stairs to go down and 1 to go up)! But I had God's peace that it was all going to work out, and not to worry. And sure enough, it turns out that my soon-to-be new landlord has a big truck and is available Wednesday afternoon-- all we need now is some manpower (I am not very useful in moving heavy things down 2 flights of stairs, it throws my back out).


Also, until today I had no idea how I was going to pay for the piano move! I just knew it had to move, so I trusted the Lord to take care of it. But it looks like I'll be borrowing the money. So I'm glad that the Lord has at least provided someone to borrow the money from! The piano can't stay here!
On top of those things, I'm not even sure where I will be sleeping or living (in referrence to eating, making my lunch, etc.) until the family moves into their new home. But strangely, though all of this should make me freek out to some extent, and would normally get me stressed due to my inability to plan and organize, the Lord has done a tremendous thing in keeping me relaxed and care-free, trusting that He's got it all under control...

The only thought now is, if I am passing the trial so easily, it could be only a matter of time until a harder one comes 'round the corner... (suspenseful music...) :)

The End of an Era... (?)

Everything will soon be changing. I will miss the old times, the old ways, the old things... I will miss those late night rehearsals, having someone else make my lunch for me (and my dinner!)... It will be different, but it will be good. I am looking forward to it!
...In case you don't know what I'm talking about, I am moving at the end of this month!

For the last year and almost 4 months I have had the pleasure of having my good friend and ministry partner Tom as a roommate-- and though there are obvious inconveniences in having a roommate of opposite gender, it has been a blessing as he's a great friend of mine. I've certainly learned a lot about how different guys and girls are!!

It will, in some way, be the "end of an era", in that for the last 3 years we have, due to circumstances, been side by side much of the time.
He had his own place when we started doing music, but shortly thereafter he moved into his car at the prompting of the Lord. (Don't you love a little trial now and then?) So, I did what any Christian would do for a friend who had no home: I invited him over to hang out when I could-- and we had to rehearse anyway, so it worked out.

Then, after the Lord had led me to quit working full time in order to have more time for the ministry, in about a month and a half's time I moved out of the house where I rented a room and was invited to stay at various friends' homes. Since Tom was still living in his car and we had mutual friends, he'd come over and visit lots (and we'd practice).

THEN, after about 6 months of that (I had been working part time but wasn't making enough money to rent anything-- even with working full time at a good job renting anything in Orange County is hard!!) the Lord led me to live in my car too. It was a blast-- a totally joyful, fun experience! That attitude is the major confirmation to it being of the Lord, because I'm pretty prissy and particular in my flesh. But I only did that for a month and a half before we moved to San Diego County.

This is the incredibly abridged version of the story, and I'm obviously leaving out all the details of how the Lord spoke and led me to do this or that, but as I am speaking of the events in hind-sight, I have the ability to specify which things were the Lord's actual leading the which things I erred in. And a lot of it sounds unbelievable and incredible, but that's fine-- God does weird stuff sometimes, and He always has a reason. I just try to do what He says and not put Him in a box...

Anyway... So we both felt the Lord calling us to minister as a band in San Diego County, and "moved down". (It's easy to move when you live in your car-- you just drive somewhere and say, "okay, I live here now". It's funny!) But some gnarly stuff happened, and people who were supposed to help us shut up their hearts to us, and we ended up alone down here without help. Rather than look to each other to fill the financial gap that prevented either of us from renting a place to live, we chose to live in our cars down here, too.

The catch with that is, whereas it was legal in O.C. where we parked, it is not legal down here... So after trying to stayt awake all night long for a couple days, we were finally forced to sleep from sheer exhaustion, though we only slept minimal hours. And as I would park next to Tom for safety reasons, we saw a lot of each other. This time I did not have joy, peace, or fun as I did in O.C.. This was not from the Lord! I was totally depressed and anxious and couldn't understand why God was seeming to forsake us, etc. But Tom was reluctant in his own mind to even consider getting a place together, despite several attempts to find separate places falling through. (Remember, this is the incredibly abridged version!)

So, one day after being woken up several times a night for over a week by police officers, we had to face the facts: we could not keep sleeping in our cars. But what could we do? I did not make enough money to rent anything, and Tom could not find anything (plus he didn't want to leave me out in the cold alone if he did find something). So we prayed and sought the Lord, and He provided the perfect 2-bed, 1.5-bath apartment. And that's where we've been for the last year and almost 4 months. (Phew, long story... Picture break!)


But now we are both moving (after months of trying to!!), and the Lord has provided marvelously for each of us to go our own way, home-wise. It will be different having our own separate homes again, as almost the whole time we've known each other we've been around each other lots due to someone being homeless! :) But it will be good, and I am looking forward to having my own place! I won't have to clean up other people's messes, and I can wear my p.j.'s around the house whenever I want! Yay!

Come February 1, we will be moved out of our cute little coastal apartment and a new era will begin. I'm wondering how we are going to arrange practicing, as we work opposite schedules? We won't be able to squeeze in those right-before-bed practice sessions. And, I won't be able to have the chef-extraordinaire make my lunches for me! I will have to make my own lunches, no matter how tired I am. And who will eat the flavors of yogurt I don't like?

BUT... I am excited. I am stoked. I am a little bummed that I have to wait till the end of the month! I am so ready to move! Yay! I am moving to a backhouse of a rad family at my church. So I will have them for company, and feel so loved and blessed to be offered such a lovely place to live, and to have such love from them as though I were their own family. And thus is the family of Christ.

Praise God for His grace, and His purposes and His timing. I have learned much in the past 3 years, and now He is moving me on to the next "era"... I can hardly wait! :) Amen!