REMEMBER.

By Deanna L. Teske

I never thought I’d see the day when love was growing old;

When dreams that held the future still had simply all been sold.

What tiresome ways we follow in our old, begotten years;

When youth is buried, joy forgotten – Awaiting unknown fears.

What apathetic tones we sing which carry not too far;

Our hallelujahs cease their ringing and nary reach a star…

Oh love once filled these pews with patience, with unencumbered praise;

But sorrow’s woes have overcome us in these latter days.

What has come of Christ our Saviour, who set us free from death?

Our hearts once yearned though now have turned to seeking so for wealth.

Oh Lord have mercy, knowing that our frames are earthen dust;

And light a fire e’er burning which leads us to the Cross.

In humble adoration bow before the Throne of old;

Upon it seated, risen Saviour whose sorrows could ne’er be told.

The pain He suffered, cruelest tortures to purchase you and me;

None can fathom, time precludes it for all eternity.

Set your gaze upon His eyes which burn with holy fire;

Take up your cross and follow Him – He’s all of man’s desire. 

The Joy of Thy Salvation

The Lord is so awesome ♥

Last night I made it home just in time to catch prayer time at the end of home fellowship - And just laid out all the questions and confusion and (ahem) lies that had been plaguing my mind for days, weeks, months... Who knows how long. And the Lord used that to bring me a renewed sense of joy in His great salvation, and to bring me the peace that I so needed.

It's funny too - Because it's not like there was a lot of discussion going on, or Bible verses discussed, to bring mental clarity on my questions... Rather, we just prayed. There were a couple thoughts shared, but mostly prayer. And I left thinking, "Hmm, well, my questions remain..."

Afterward I sat and played some piano with my landlord's daughter, and then walked back to my house. And by the time I got home, I had a great desire to keep playing... I had played a couple of my songs while over there, and they really ministered to me... Like some epiphany, the lyrics struck me as deeply true... "Have I never heard these lyrics before?" I thought; "Did I not write them? Why do they seem so foreign?"

I had so divorced myself from the heart that wrote... That I did not even recognize it when I heard it. But suddenly it was all flooding back in... And songs burst from my heart like a cry from a newborn baby.

That's not to say I had the most amazing songwriting session ever (though I did compose the framework for my first song since May - and I am liking it! It's very different!) - But rather, what grand thing that ensued was the freedom to express thanks and praise and to let gratitude to my King freely pour forth... And that just filled my heart with a peace and joy which I hadn't felt in some time.

Over the hurdle - But not done with the race! But my God is here with me - And I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I am eternally thankful for His love, and for His mercies which are new every morning.

Amen ♥

Time Flies!

Wow oh wow, does time fly! I can't believe it's already October 5th - It seems like I was just wincing at the summer heat and fanning myself all the day long... And now it's raining and blustery, cold winds are sweeping through the land.

Today was a sad day as we mourn the loss of a true creative genius, Steve Jobs. A friend posted on FB and I watched his Stanford graduation address on YouTube. A week ago a friend-of-a-friend suddenly passed away from a massive heart attack as well... It makes one think... This life is oh, so temporary.

Tomorrow is promised to no man, and our lives - Even if long by human standards - Are but a vapor and then are gone. Only what is done for eternity will last.

I've been pretty discouraged since turning 30 a year or so ago... Thinking that my opportunities to live the kind of life I always wanted were now severely limited, or even gone. I am not married, not in a relationship, haven't graduated college, don't have a career, and am still renting (and not even able to afford to rent on the market!).

I have many talents and things I love to do - But I get overwhelmed by the need to pay bills and the time I have to spend working, and feel like I just don't have the energy or time to devote to these true interests. In addition to that, they are all quite expensive hobbies and I have very little money to spend on the good equipment that I would like to have. Lately I have been noticing a few things in regards to this...

(1) People aren't likely to take you seriously if you don't take yourself seriously - That is, if you are interested in photography but are always telling people your photos aren't very good, or saying that you don't have this or don't have that to be a "real" photographer... If you're always waiting for some level of status before you DO anything with your interest/talent... People aren't likely going to "buy your product" (believe in / support you).

(2) Pretty much everyone starts out as a nobody - And they just use the gifts God has given them to the best of their ability, and God is the one who raises them up as He wills. I mean, there are some musicians who I think are really super lame. Yet they are famous. How on earth did that happen? Some things just can't be explained logically... ;)

(3) Life doesn't end at 30. I know it FEELS like it does - But it doesn't. The age of 30 is not some mystical deadline that says, "If you haven't done it, or at least started doing it by now, it's too late." I take great hope from the people who have met and gotten married to the love of their life after 30. Who have discovered their calling in life after 30. Jesus began His ministry at 30, and changed the world forever...

Well, I suppose that's enough rantings for the moment. I will leave you with this one thought - Make the most of each moment, and do what glorifies the Lord for eternity... For only those things done for His glory will last in the end... Time is short. Amen.